Emotional Roller coaster

15 th.September 2003

You receive the call a wallaby has been hit on the road, a live joey is in the pouch, can you come and collect it.You hope that it is reasonable size.

As you get to the site of the accident and reach in to the pouch, your heart sinks, it is such a small joey, but not small enough not to give it the chance at life that it deserves. You take it home, measure and weigh the little creature, and as first thought, it is really too small, you know it, but you have promised the people at the accident site and your self that you will give it every chance.

It is warm, it did not have time to go cold, that gives it an even better chance, if it had been cold you know it would be a lost battle from the start being so very small, but it has all in its favor, apart from size.

First feed is a breeze, it is drinking so well, sucking on the teat like nothing has changed in it's short life, the pouch still smells of mum, you rubbed it on Mums body before placing the joey inside, all is well.

The voice inside your head is yelling at you, do not get attached, do not get your hopes up, you know it's chances are very small, but you know all that, and tell the voice to be quiet.

Next feed is the same all is fine, drinks like a trooper, he is being fed every 3 hours. Being so small he can not get too large an amount in his stomach, he is used to feed on demand. Next feed again great. We are so lucky now, there is formula available that give us the opportunity to save an animals this size, as before it would have been impossible.

The first day goes well, he is in the humidicrib. The feed at 2 am is the one where all the negative thoughts come back, you start to examine the reasons why you are doing this, is it for yourself or is it for the animals sake, the house is still you only have the voice in your head and the joey sucking contentedly. You come to the conclusion that it is probably a little bit of both, can you do this? can the animal keep the will to live? if it gives up, who is at fault. The thoughts come razing in. He has finished feeding, you clean him up, put cream on his tiny body so his tender skin won't dry up, change his pouch and back in the humidicrib. You go back to bed.

Each time you open the pouch, you take a deep breath , the joey could be dead, it has happened so many times before, you do not know what may have happened in the accident the bruising does not show immediately, even on such a small animal, so far so good, no bruising showing, the joey is breathing easy, you give it it's next feed.

Day 2

In between the other joey's in care are being fed and grass is collected branches also, as they love to browse. All is well in the nursery pen. The ones outside get the last fed at 11 pm, then it is like the day is over, but not for the tiny one in the humidicrib, the day does not end, it just keeps going, the next day follows well before the day seems to have been over.

Day 3.

The 5am feed is not what you expected, he will not open his tiny mouth. You can not force it open, his skin is too delicate should you try, so you wait, the milk is spilled slowly on to his lips, in the hope he may smell it and want it, but he does not. You put him back in the humidicrib, and wait. An hour passes, you try again.

This time he does open his mouth, and drinks, not quite as well as previously, but he does drink the required amount. You breathe easy again. The voice in your head is still telling you do not get attached, you know what you can expect, you dismiss it, and tell it to go away.

It is almost time to feed the ones outside, so may as well do that now, bed is looking good, but then you will have to get up again shortly to feed them, so do it now. By the time you have finished the outside ones, it is too late to go back to bed, the morning is well in progress, sleep can wait.

Next feed is good, the joey is drinking fine again, he is once again cleaned and cream is again put over his body, new pouch at every feed so not to let him get any bacteria, back to the humidicrib.

Your day goes like the one before, only at the 12pm feed you open the pouch, all is ready, the syringe with the teat attached is warm waiting for the tiny creature to have his fill. You open the pouch................................................. only this time he is no more.

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